


Close to Heaven: Part II

by Dalankar



Category: DBSK, EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd saved a life and bound himself to someone who smiled like the world would never end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close to Heaven: Part II

"They will come for you."

 

He looks up at Sungmin. He knows if he was mortal Sungmin would be just light, like the burst of sunlight through a forest canopy or the blinding flash of light reflected off a mirror. But he is not human. And Sungmin looks like he always does. Like he always has and always will. Pale, dark haired and breathtakingly beautiful. And Hyukjae loves him best. Better than Changmin, with his sharp beauty of a bird of prey. Or Jonghyun, with a voice that gave music to the world. Or Yunho, strong and fearless and the best of them all.

Hyukjae has never wanted to hurt them. Because he remembers Yunho standing with him at the beginning of the world and smiling at him as they wove the world as it shook and cried and breathed for the first time. They have had eternity together. But now Hyukjae has found something bigger than eternity.

 

"I know."

 

Sungmin sighs and turns towards him and Hyukjae catches the flashes of the iridescent wings folded at his back.

 

" _He_ is worth that?"

 

Hyukjae lets his wings unfold, tilting his head towards the stars and closes his eyes.  Donghae moves behind his eye lids. Drawing the blankets around a dead-to-the-world Kyuhyun, asleep with a book open on his chest. Playing soccer with the kids at the shelter and pretending he let Sehun get past him on purpose. Tears soaking in to white hospital linen as he cries by Chanyeol's bedside. Making wide eyes at the night stalls in the crowded streets of Venice. Hyukjae remembers reaching out as Donghae watched the moon rise over the mountains of Lucerne, remembers the smile on Donghae's face and remembers the moment he understood that eternity was nothing to this. Seeing Donghae smile once was worth all the days he had left.

 

"Yes."

 

He feels Sungmin shift closer beside him. 

 

"I can give you four days."

 

Hyukjae twines their fingers together as stars fall from the sky towards the earth.

 

"I love you."

 

He feels Sungmin’s smile burst across the sky.

  

 

\---

 

 

“There is more than this,” Junsu had said.

 

“How can there be more than eternity?” He had asked.

 

“There is. One day you will find someone who will make you realise that.” Junsu's smile had been sad and Hyukjae still hadn't understood. All he saw was Yunho's anger and the force of it that had reduced planets to rubble. Jaejoong should not have chosen a mortal. And Junsu should never have fought for them. Even if it broke his heart, Hyukjae had known why they must fall. But he hadn't understood why Jaejoong had smiled when the wings were torn from his soul. Like Yoochun was worth everything.

 

He had never looked for them after they fell. Never wondered.

 

He should have. They had woven this world together.

 

He wonders if Jaejoong had known what was coming. If he burnt as Yoochun held his hand and cried. He knows why Sungmin had never warned him. He would never have listened.

 

\---

 

The first time he found Donghae, he was on a rooftop. He was asking for help.

 

If he had been asking for himself, Hyukjae would have passed over him.

 

"Please, take everything I have. Take my life. But please, let him live. He's just a kid."

 

Hyukjae watched, fascinated. The tears shining down his face, hands clasped infront of him in prayer, the dark bowed head.

 

Donghae was asking for help, from anyone willing to listen. And that day, for some reason that Hyukjae will never come to regret, he was willing to listen.

 

So he looked in on the kid, all long limbs and messy hair, and nudged a few threads here and there and watched the lungs take air on their own and eyes flicker open and the smile on Donghae's face. He watched transfixed, a man who was willing to give up his life for a boy he had barely known for a year.

 

There should have been nothing so captivating about him. About this group of orphans who were trying to make a life together. From the two older boys who had taken on the roles of parents and started the restaurant and adopted the three younger boys so they wouldn't have to be separated.

 

To Ryeowook whose gentle nature almost rivalled Sungmin's. To Kyuhyun, who was as fiercely protective of his older brothers as they were of him.

 

To Donghae.

 

Donghae, who laughed and cried so easily. Who fell in love when he was twenty and staked his heart on that love. Who had been shattered when Kibum left and had to be painstakingly put back together by all those who loved him.

 

Including Hyukjae.

 

He finally understood Junsu's words. And the smile on Jaejoong's face. He'd found something to stake eternity on.

 

He'd saved a life and bound himself to someone who smiled like the world would never end.

 

\---

Hyukjae shifts his chair to make space as Donghae brings back more glasses to the table. Donghae grins at him as he sets the glasses down on the table and sits down beside him. They hear Heechul hyung groan about having to put up with lovesick teenagers.

 

Donghae laughs. “Hyung, I haven’t been a teenager for five years!”

 

They’re having a family dinner to welcome Hyukjae in to the family. Jungsu hyung is distributing rice while Jongwoon hyung tries to steal one of Hankyung hyung’s special dumplings and gets a gentle rap across the knuckles from Ryeowook. Jongwoon hyung clutches the hand to his chest and Ryeowook reaches for him, all wide, worried eyes until Jongwoon hyung grins and kisses him on the mouth. Jungsu hyung gasps in mock horror and tries to cover Kyuhyun’s eyes with a table cloth. Kyuhyun pulls the cloth away from his eyes and turns around to kiss Siwon on the lips, who reddens but doesn’t pull away until Kyuhyun does. Jungsu hyung clutches at his chest and lets Youngwoon hyung pull him down to the chair.

 

“My babies are all grown up,” Jungsu hyung moans in to Youngwoon hyung’s shoulder.

 

He remembers _before_. When Yunho would lead them streaming past the stars. Remembers Jaejoong, so lovely that entire worlds had fallen in love with him. Remembers Changmin and Junsu, chasing comets across galaxies. Remembers Jonghyun’s songs echoing across the stars, remembers the incredulous joy on his face when mortals caught threads of his songs and created their own music. Remembers Sungmin, watching over this beloved world with him, standing against any and all who would do it harm. He remembers his family. But he doesn’t regret gaining this new one.

 

Donghae twines their hands together under the table and when Hyukjae looks at him, he is smiling.

 

“I know it.”

 

“What do you know?”

 

Donghae’s smile widens. “If someone asks me about the happiest moment of my life, I know what it is.” Donghae kisses him lightly on the lips. “This is it.” Hyukjae smiles in to the kiss.

 

“Yah!” Heechul hyung yells in the background. “This is not your bedroom!”

 

Hyukjae looks around in time to see Hankyung hyung pull Heechul hyung closer and Jungsu hyung looking at them with a soft smile.

 

“Welcome to the family,” Youngwoon hyung says with a grin.

 

Hyukjae bows his head. Donghae’s thumb traces across his knuckles under the table.

 

 

\---

 

The second time Hyukjae falls, it is not from any great height. Nor does he lose anything that comes close to eternity, the power to mould entire worlds. No, the second time Hyukjae falls, it is worse. Because the first time he knew what he was losing, but this time nothing is certain.

He is alone and he hasn't told Donghae he loves him that day. He feels the soft carpet under his cheek and wonders if this time he'll wake up.

 

Jongin finds him and Hyukjae hears his shouts for help. Soon there are too many feet around him, the worried voices of the younger kids and Donghee hyung telling Kyungsoo to call an ambulance and for Joonmyun to call the restaurant and for  Jongin and Chanyeol to carry Hyukjae to the bed, be careful and don't pull his hair.

 

He is awake but he is not. He feels Baekhyun’s gentle hands in his hair, the cool drops of water slipping over his skin from the wet cloth Kyungsoo’s applying to his forehead and worried murmur of Joonmyun’s voice on the phone, I don’t know hyung, he won’t wake up, please get here fast. The world moves around him as he stays still and he feels like the time when he wrought the sun together with the others, weaving the air and the light and the heat together. He is burning like the star he had created. But unlike that star, he knows he does not have a lifetime to wait.

 

On the third day the doctors have failed to find out exactly what is wrong with him, Hyukjae feels light burning his eyes. Donghae has fallen in to a restless sleep at the edge of his bed, one hand clasped loosely around his’ and the other pillowing his cheek. Heechul hyung, who is on guard duty tonight had left in search for coffee after wrapping Donghae in his jacket.  Youngwoon hyung had forced Jungsu hyung to go home for some rest. Hyukjae wishes he could tell them not to worry. That everything will be fine. Except he doesn’t know. And for the first time since he began, he is afraid.

 

Sungmin seeps in to the room like sunlight in winter, sweet and gentle and hopeful.

 

_You're burning up._

 

With what?

 

_With all that you were._

 

What can I do?

 

_Let go. Or die._

 

I will forget?

 

_Yes_.

 

Him?

 

_Yes_.

 

No.

 

_Please…_

 

He wants to cry. He wonders if Jaejoong chose to forget. If Junsu had been there, always watching over him. If Yoochun had fallen asleep beside Jaejoong’s hospital bed. He wonders if Sungmin had been with them too, pleading for their lives.

 

But Hyukjae had given up too much for this. To be here with Donghae. He doesn’t want to forget. Becoming mortal has made him selfish.

 

I will not forget him. I cannot.

 

_Hyukjae…_

 

Goodbye.  

 

\---

 

He feels himself wake up, but wriggles his toes to make sure.  He feels Sungmin's smile, sweet and sad, lingering behind his eyelids. He has always loved Sungmin. He owes him more than he can ever pay back.

 

Donghae, who had been watching him with unwavering eyes, grips his hand tighter and leans closer.

 

“Hyukjae?”

 

He doesn’t tell Donghae that he cannot feel the touch of his hand. He smiles and wishes he could brush the hair out of Donghae’s face.

 

“Remember when you were watching the moon rise over Lucerne. You were cold because you forgot to bring a jacket.”

 

Donghae smiles and the tears in his eyes shine brighter. “But then I wasn't cold anymore.” 

 

_Hyukjae wraps himself around Donghae, arms and wings and his whole being. Donghae sighs and relaxes in to him._

 

“I have loved you always. Forgive me that I caused you so much pain.”

 

“No, Hyukjae… “

 

“I’m sorry. I never wanted you to be alone.”

 

Donghae's tears drop on to his skin but he doesn't feel them. He is burning.

 

_He is at the beginning and Yunho breathes life in to him as the stars spin around them._

 

“Hyukjae. Hyukjae, please.” Donghae is crying, face pressed against his chest and he must be burning too. Hyukjae doesn't want to hurt Donghae.

 

_He wraps his wings around Donghae and holds as Changmin's wrath tears across his back, snapping and screaming and righteous. He holds on to Donghae until the wings disappear and letting Donghae go is the only way to keep him safe._

 

"Donghae." The light gets brighter behind his eyes. _Donghae_.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

He's back on the ferry, floating up the Seine and Donghae is staring at him. He smiles to himself and turns around. He's been waiting so long for this day. He barely feels the echoes of his wings

 

\---

 

He's washing dishes at the shelter. There is a pile of pots waiting beside him but he doesn’t mind. He is thinking about the soccer game Joonmyun had asked him to join when he hears the ruckus at the door. He turns. And he finds heaven all over again.

 

\---

 

He is watching Donghae sleep. Dark lashes against pale skin, dark hair spread over the pillow, warm skin and gentle breaths and a mouth Hyukjae would kiss without hesitation. He had given up eternity to be here. He's always known Donghae was worth it. But now he feels it seep in to his bones. A truth he has always known. It enters his blood and sustains his organs.

 

\---

 

He's laying on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed. Donghae is holding his hand. He is speaking but Hyukjae cannot make out the words. He is selfish and clutches at Donghae's hand. His fingers make no ground.

He wants to tell Donghae, I love you. I love you and I'm so glad I could spend this time with you. There are tears in Donghae's eyes. They leave a shining trail down Donghae's face. He had never wanted to make Donghae cry. Ever since that first day on the rooftop, he could never bear Donghae's tears.

 

Donghae.

 

I'm sorry. I love you.

 

\---

 

He falls. And for the first time in eternity, he is alone. The sun does not burn his eyes anymore.

 

 

 

***

 


End file.
